Three millimeters. That’s it.
These 2 pictures were taken fewer than 2 months apart. I was the same weight; I think I had even lost a few more pounds by the time the second image was taken. Yet I was extremely frustrated every time I saw a photo of my face. I mentioned it to family and kept trying to figure out what was irking me so badly. I had worked hard the year before trying to get my health in order, I was very much in love with my hair, and I was even on vacation in Ireland, so I was in a great mood all around. There was just something off. My family offered my recent weight loss as an explanation; maybe I just wasn’t used to seeing my face slimmed like this. I tried to accept that, thinking it was just something in my head.
The truth was something so small and simple yet so devastating to my self confidence. Just a month before my trip, I had gone through an extensive dental surgery. I didn’t connect it to my situation at all, but I had spent a crazy amount of time working directly with the dentist and was there with him for long hours where we would chat about loads of things. One such topic I mentioned was this issue I was having with my face, to the extent of not liking being in photos lately. I laughed about it, as a lot of people know I tend to laugh at myself most of the time, when he stopped me to say he may know what’s bothering me.
When I was in surgery, there was an issue with the shape of one area of my jaw and they needed to shave it down 3 millimeters. It was a slight difference in my face shape, but it was enough to make me not feel like me. Oh, and trust me, I know you’re looking at the pictures side by side and you can’t figure out what my issue was at all. I know that, and yet I withdrew from being in photos at holidays, on trips, and for special moments. I would catch myself sometimes and make efforts to take them, especially with family members I have since lost. However, I just couldn’t fully recognize myself in the images, and I’d be a little sad about it. Over the almost 6 years since, I have coped and am a little more accustomed to it. It’s a personal journey of mine that I’m proud to say is getting a little easier every time I take a picture with friends.
I mention this because I want my clients to know that I understand the feeling. I know that when you say “When I lose this weight, I am so going to book” or “I don’t know what it is, I just don’t like myself in that photo” or “I don’t love myself in photos so I don’t get them done,” you may be struggling to overcome it. I happened to chat with a lady recently and when she found out what I did for work, she responded just like that.
The truth is that I understand all too well. I’m not going to say to get over it or that you’re nuts for thinking things like that. I will tell you something I’m still telling myself, though: you’re perfectly imperfect just as you are. You deserve to feel beautiful because that is what you are, whether you go for a professional portrait, a boudoir experience, a selfie with your favorite cousin at the holidays, or whatever time it may be.
So, the next time you’re about to pull back from a group photo or think maybe you’ll wait to reach out for a portrait session with your favorite photographer—hopefully I’ll be the lucky one!—I want you to think of these 2 pictures. I know after asking so many people in my life that you’d have to be Sherlock Holmes to notice the difference, but that was enough to make me kind of mean to myself. So all I ask is that you celebrate the person you are as you are. Nobody is perfect and THANK THE LORD for that!
Perfect is boring. Unique is timeless.
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